i’m alive alive alive i promise.
I’ve been a touchy bugger since we got back from our 2 weeks holidays and I don’t know how he tolerates me. Maybe it’s because I make the most EPIC LASAGNA EVER.
I’m pretty sure he hasn’t even noticed he hasn’t eaten meat in over a week.
So what’s up with me? I haven’t posted in a while.
Job = great.
Boyfriend = honeymoon period is pretty much gone. Treading through sometimes, but mostly happy as larry. The only major fight we’ve had has been about my obsession with buying a new Soarer.
I’ve gotten very interested in budgeting/investing. I’m currently pushing $300 every week into a savings account - money for a new Soarer once my license switches over to opens. I’ll be buying a Limited Uzz32. BLACK ON BLACK BABY.
My savings goal for the end of 2013 is $18, 000. I’m on track with a buffer (of 2k, at this rate on that interest it will be 20k).
Eventually, combined, after only 5 years, we’ll be able to purchase a house/land pretty much outright. Which is the plan.
Assuming we last that long of course :p
I’m still not sick of him, bless his soul.
Two weeks, 3 states, nearly 4000klms and 40degree heat. I had an amazing time with him. We met one another’s extended family’s.
We had a nice motel.
We fucked on a beach in a full moon.
We fucked in a sauna.
I think we’re in love. It hasn’t been said yet but I think so. He says my name more, holds my hand, and compliments me.
I feel like with him, I’m at home.
I’m also restructuring my finances, to start right. Moving banks, developing new strategies to manage savings, and to live comfortably on my good salary. I really like the company so far.
Just a quick update nevertheless, buggered but sleepless, it’s 9:30pm, still light outside and sweltering hot.Monday, January 7, 2013
Amazing drive, staying by the beaches, site seeing, fucking, loving ,now we are in the spa. This is an amazing trip.Sunday, December 30, 2012
Goddamn he’s a beautiful male. Happy on my roadtrip with him. Merry Christmas everyone.Monday, December 24, 2012
How the feminist movement fucked women over.
Life is funny. Hilarious if you will when you really think about it. A lot of people don’t realize that on the greater scheme of things even the most minute choices we make can affect the very people that we’re trying to help. This can be said in very great volumes when you think of the after effects of the Feminist Movement of the 60s and how it really set American women of today up to fail. Here’s my thoughts on that sad fact.
In the 60s America was going through some changes, we had a young president in office, people were fucking all over the place and we had gotten involved in a war we shouldn’t had. It was also around this time that a lot of women started going to college and pursuing higher learning degrees instead of the then traditional route of marrying and having children and tending to the household. Women, also had fairly recently had just gotten the right to vote and work in certain places albeit at lesser wages than their male counterparts and there was still a drought in opportunity for them to reap the same benefits that’s men could in the work place. This led to a lot of angry women who wanted to be treated as equal.
At the same time this was happening, the Civil Rights Movement was going on where Black citizens of the United States were also fighting for equal rights in the workplace and in society. It only made sense that since both factions were fighting for the same thing that they’d fight together right? So what happened?
When white and black women banded together in the Feminist Movement the main argument was women being treated as equals in the workplace with the same benefits and to not be treated like second class citizens. A lot of people don’t know this but when the Affirmative Action law was passed it was for the benefit of white women, but I’ll get into that later. Back to the 60s where women were very gung-ho about being treated as equals there were several demonstrations, bra burnings, sits ins and all that jazz and after all was said and done the Civil Rights Bill was passed along with a lot of other laws that benefitted women in this country. But nothing is free in America.
During the Feminist Movement the so-called “independent woman” was heavily promoted. She didn’t need a man for shit. As a matter of fact she could do anything a man could but better, get at me ladies when you can walk and pee simultaneously without getting your legs wet. This attitude persisted throughout the movement, however the “sisterhood” between black and white women was never present. If you notice today it’s very rare you’ll hear white women flying the independent flag, especially older white women. This is because after the feminists of the 60s got what they wanted, they got husbands right after. A lot of them got together and said, and I paraphrase, “look, we got equal wages and all that, but I need a husband, some dick and somebody to help with these bills and I want some babies, pack it up let’s go”. Meanwhile, and you still see this today, a lot of women are fighting an enemy that never existed.
Black women, to their own detriment, benefitted from these laws and it did a number on black relationships and if you’re offended by the truth you may want to stop reading this because shit is about to get real and when I say real I mean Aaronesque. Right after women’s lib and the Civil Rights Movement the government began it’s master plan of destroying the black family unit and black women fell for it hook line and sinker. Kickbacks in this country were given to every race and gender EXCEPT black men. Whites benefitted from White Flight in the 40s and 50s, white women in particular benefitted from Affirmative Action, the Jewish who were Holocaust survivors got kickbacks from that, rightfully so, and black women got Section 8 Housing. A lot of people don’t know about one condition in particular about Section 8, you can’t have a man in the house. You can have dirt cheap rent, food vouchers and all the kids you can amass, but you can’t have a man living with you. And this is the seed that planted the tree of Stank.
Around this time, now the late 70s early 80s it became socially acceptable for a woman of any race in America to have an illegitimate child and behind the scenes it was heavily promoted by the powers that be. Women who lacked a certain consciousness and respect for themselves ran with this notion that they didn’t need a man. Not needing a man wasn’t enough, now they didn’t see the need to respect a man and also around this time the notion of the truly independent woman really started to take hold. Women needed men for one thing at this point in their minds, to procreate, because after that they felt no need to keep the man around because they were in their own words “the mother and the father”. However like all bad ideas, this blew up in a lot of women’s faces.
So here we are today and a lot of women, going back to three or maybe even four generations depending on how young you were when you had your first kid, have no strong men in their lives. Don’t know how to treat a man or even know what to do when a good man comes around yet with a straight face will complain. The “equality” you looked for wasn’t what you were prepared for. Usually if you tell someone that they’re extra fly after a while they’ll believe it even if they know it’s not true. This is what happened to a lot of women, you let the “independent woman” machine build you up to a point where you thought you were invincible while your real enemy got over on you. Think about it, how independent are you really? If you rely on anyone else be they a government entity or a child support check you are not a self sustaining being. Throughout time there has never truly been an event where women were truly united against one cause. A lot of you ladies reading this now can’t get along with other females and you’ll readily admit that.
Another byproduct if the 60s and the women’s lib movement is what we see now in the form of nonprofit hos. Some women say that they’re reclaiming their sexuality or that they’re a free spirit, but ladies all it takes for you to be a ho is for you to have at least two guys currently fucking you. I’m not calling you a ho, but that’s ho shit. If you’re a money making ho, I’m not talking about you, hustling broads have my respect and love. But if you’re playing musical dicks and at the first hint of you going to make some money comes up and you take it back to church, you ain’t shit but a ho. Sorry.
So when you really think about it, all of you women who always blame men for your woes, blame yourselves for getting in your own way. You let a good idea get to your head and you mutilated it into a horrible beast and the tide is turning fast because men are getting tired of dealing with the bullshit, the good men such as myself that is. Men aren’t intimidated by you, they’re tired of you and a lot of us are waking up to the truth that we have the option to go elsewhere. Fellas, if you’ve ever been out of the country think of when you came back. Did you not ask yourself what the fuck was wrong with American women? Me too.
So let’s get it out there ladies, a lot of your attitudes are a direct result of how the Feminist Movement royally fucked women over in the aftermath. A lot of you are fans of the Beatles, equate what went down with Yoko coming in and telling John Lennon he was extra fly and didn’t need his band mates. Punchbowl turds don’t get bigger than that. Women let the system tell them they didn’t need a man and a lot of you internalized that or learned it from your mothers and now you’re sitting around with all your so called independence and nothing to show for it. A synonym for independent is alone and with a lot of your attitudes ladies that’s what you’ll forever be, alone. Think about that and don’t forget to read.
You don’t know if I grew out of being a honey blonde or took after your dark hair.
You don’t know how tall I am.
You don’t know how I talk, I don’t think you’ve ever seen me smile.
Did I retain the light grey eyes of my mother, your then girlfriend, or did I take after you?
I’m nearly 21. I might have a husband, a boyfriend. You might have grandchildren. You might have missed my wedding; so who walked me down the isle?
Who the hell are my kids going to call grandpa?
You son of a bitch.
I never talk about him. I never mention him. None of my friends have ever heard me speak of him. There is no one in my life that I call Dad. That is easily the word I have used the least since I learned to speak.
The one time I remember meeting him I was about 8 years old. I was at my grandparents house, and they told me I was going to meet him. I remember getting really excited, and I put on a pretty dress, I’m sure my favorite at the time.
He walked in the door with a petite blonde woman.
I didn’t understand. I didn’t understand why he hadn’t hugged me yet.
He was so cold, so the friendly but very out-of-her-depth blonde spent 5 minutes with me, as I sat on my little bed trying to figure out why he didn’t treat me like my friends dads’ treated them. He didn’t say anything except a timid hello, and his bimbo girlfriend picked up the slack.
The past week has been massive.
I started the new job and just finished my first week there. I love it. Good people, good company.
My boyfriend is supportive and kind and interested in ME.
And only now things are so good on paper am I realising my issues that will sounds super cliche on here, but in reality, I never knew affected me so badly.
#1 being an absent father who has no interest in me whatsoever.
I meet all the classical “daddy issue” criteria for a girl. Overly flirtatious and promiscuous, blurred boundaries, a need to feel adored and approved by from men, a need for constant attention and love. It comes and go but generally it’s always there.
Third day of the job went swell.
I love it when he walks in dirty and smelling like oil.Wednesday, December 19, 2012